Guess who woke me up today? the adorable Misha woke me up. How suprising is dat. And it shocked me. The moment I opened my eyes, i saw her next to my bed playing with my sweets and junkies. Oh dear, and my Belgian chocs are all out if their places. hahaa!

N i think I instaneously popped up from bed. how on earth can she be up here in my room. She must have climbed up the stairs all by herself! How dangerous is that! True enough, coz I found out that everyone else was alseep. Musli must have brought her out of her cot and accidently doze to sleep. Leaving her roaming around the house on her own.

Kakak, u better start fixing the gate soon.

Now I lost 2 of my sweets. She's cute alright.


But then again, I caught musli eating my sweets and chocs! haha! and to him, he's helping me. Saying that he's preventing me from getting fat. yah rite, nice of u. So now its either him or misha that made my Belgian chocs out of place. Lol.

Kids and my loved ones never fail to keep me from smiling. but then again, there are some that always make me cry.


Ive beginning to think. Somehow I feel that ignorance and sellfishness overtake me. Its true I tell you. The cries-and-shoutings scene I witness everyday. I cant barely hold on any longer. And Ive been ignoring it for months. Darn, I shouldnt have behaving this way. Where am I when the people I love need me? All I think is for myself to be happy. True, I am happy. But I dont each time the scenes appear before me every now and then.

I believe its time for me to get back in action. But seriously, Im not strong enough. I can easily give up like wat I used to do. Leaving them in misery. I keep praying that I have all the will in world to help as far as I can.

There's this one ayat from surah Ra'd, which I had to hafal it when I was Sec2, which I always find quite true n meaningful. And I always use it as my personal motivator.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
"For each (such person) there are (angels) in succession, before and behind him: They guard him by command of Allah. Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls). "
-verse 11


So I believe that if she herself doesnt initiate for a change. Then I guess dats it. But I dont think she wants to be like this either way. Sometimes I wish I have the power to change everything. But I dont. So I must make her change, somehow or somewhat.. better. But then again, I dont have all the time in this world for her or for them. It saddens me alright.

What I can see is that... their level of patience is higher than a mountain. Despite those things, they never give up just like that. N i feel that mine is shorter than a tree. Coz i just run away from what Im supposed to do.

Yea so everyone knows that God is Almighty and Great. He's everything one should turn to. Qudrah..Iradah. I know he can change everything. There's always a hidden hikmah behind every sufferings He give. That leaves me to just continuous Do'a then..




Im like freaking emo lah.
Believe me, all I want is a.....