When im sad, stressed n emotionally disturbed,..
Sleep seems to be just the perfect remedy!
sleep...sleep.. N sleep..
N sleep again even when im not sleepy anymore.

Bring it on! Lets go!!

I went kinder-bueno hunting. Well, its the 2nd in my fav list of chocs. Im still loyal to my twirl. I just had that urge to treat myself something sweet after studying so hard for 2 tests.

Alhamdulillah, I felt sooo great that I managed to answer for both. Though the one for Thin Film is abit.. well yah, subjective kind of right/wrong.
But nevermind! I shall declare no mugging tonite! Studying will only resume tmr morning insyaAllah =)
I still have my online lectures pending for my view.

This morning I had left my sample in front of lamp for shining. It started at 10am. And guess how long does the sample need to complete its shining?

Its very hurtful when your efforts are not appreciated. Worse, they are unwanted and seen as annoyance.

Packing.. packing.. Im still not done yet.
This time round, I dont have a checklist. I dump in whatever I feel necessary. I hope I dont miss out any important things.

Im pretty excited. It feels as though Im off for a short trip. With the luggage and all. But reality check, nyeeh im parting off from my beautiful home sweet home. Sad sentiments. 2 months, I hope I can endure. All for the better insyaAllah.

This time round.. its different. Its not a hall. Its a new home =)
N bcoz of that, mom wants me to cook once in a while.
Im bringing along the cooking oil, the spaghetti, the nuggets, the eggs, the can foods. Simple2 cookings for my own dinner =)

Books lecture notes sch bags shoes toiletries sleepwear undies bras schwear n lots n lots of sanitary pads. haha! of course the little2 things like my cables, hangers, cepit baju, cepit rambut, dressing items. pillows, bedsheet cover, blanket. I hope I can fit everything in the car. yikes!

A whole new experience! on my mark, get set... GO!
Bismillah!!

Dearest Suzana,



Remember the times you assured me that we can do this together? We went through the shit of IA together. And Im in this FYP because of you. You were the only reason I picked this topic because you wanted it. So please dont leave me all alone. You know how much I hated fyp but you assured me that we're in this together and we can do it.

I failed to tell you the same. Everybody else is stressed up my dear. You are definitely not alone. I failed to tell that you need to get-away. But this is seriously not the time.. its really not the time..
I really hope ure doing fine and pls come back to your senses. I promise I'll be there for you again and not just to think about myself.

We'll study again together just like last semester in school and in hall. Im sorry that I nag at u, but it was all for ur better.

You have no idea how sad I am right now. Im sorry.


With love,
Mai

saham tinggi. Ok this is seriously so funny. The world of Madrasah students. Its still the same. Cute. Im sure they will laugh just like us now when they grow up.

But if I can turn back time, I will definitely want to go back to secondary school.
Not that so we can go chasing again. Back then, I dont think the students were that bold to do so.

Time back then was so fun and stress free. Well, yah comparable to now. But to think of it, I wonder how I handled THAT many subjects in a year. And now... studying 5 mods already driving me nuts.. why?

WHY?

I could hafal all the ukhrawi subjects but y I cant seem to memorize my notes already. Im pretty sure it should be the same... right?

Let me recall how many things Ive juggled before...
-hafal quraan
-hadis
-tafsir
-fiqh
-tauhid
-sirah
-arab

Though i failed my sirah for PSTE.. I just got a 'naajih'. HAHA! i guess thats the one and only paper i failed so far. I hope its the first and the last!

Then I had my..
english, malay, arabic, social studies+geopragy, chem+physics, bio, maths, a maths, IRK.
for olvls.

wah not bad not bad! im so proud of myself and
God I desperately need my old brain! I think ive pollute it too much heehee!

I think in Madrasah.. we had that spiritual thingy the 'clean' pure awesome environment. Im pretty sure THAT that made us different. U know, like selawat everyday, solat on time everyday, jemaah sumore. Constant ceramahs. Constant Quraan reading. Awesome isnt it. Which I think is what im lacking now. :(

Thing is, i never had that dreadful feeling to go to school. I never complained I had to wake up THAT morning and be in school by 7.
But 8.30 now seems SUPER morning. why?????

School was so fun back then. Everyday see friends. Everyday talk and everyday laugh. Once in awhile fight. once in a while cry. But everything was just oh-so-great!



Thats my place. My fav spot. =)







That was a really long 6 years ago :(

How much can the brain takes in per day?
Ive done 1 tutorial, 2 lectures and I cannot focus anymore.
This is seriously worrying cause Ive a lot more to cover before school starts.
And its already the midweek today.
Its not good to complain I know. Im just tellin ya Im so worried. =(
This semester is by far, the heaviest for me. Really.

I hope I can continue staying positive and tell myself I CAN DO IT yeaaah!
To start again my FYP yesterday wasnt that bad as I thought it would be. Whatever evil moments happened for FYP has somehow deterred me from going to labs again. But i know, I HAVE to do it anywhere.

So yesterday was the first. I synthesized my own batch. FOR ME. thats the most important point. Im gonna make sure no one else uses it for their project. Im sick of being the provider. They should start standing on their own feet, like.. seriously!
C'mon... if its YOUR project... do it from A-Z pls... and not.. like M-Z? heh.
Keep depending on someone else for the A-L?

Im sorry but I have to withdraw. I dont have all the time in the world. I can see now that you're using someone else. Good luck to that new girl.

ok so back to the story.

I tried my best to set myself at the best of mood yesterday. I need that uplifted emotions just so I wont feel so dreadful about going to lab. My prof once told me that emotions are contagious. And really, it is. =)

I said good mornings to everyone I know. Smile to random people. Its really nice to see when these random people smiled back at you. =)
Set groovy music into my mp3. I had that feeling like dancing around in train. If its Disney land, I would make everyone stand and dance along =)
That should make my morning fine and happy~

And the best thing that happened, the makcik cleaner said "waaaah ceria nyee nari". And she smiled too. The feeling is just... GREAT!
Even when the mango juice auntie said "waaaa so long nvr see u aaaah". Another remark that made my day happier =)

I hope I can get this positivity goin.
Ameen! =)


Thats all for today.


Dear Mom,
I really gonna miss u. Im moving out soon.

-ur beloved daughter

Di manakah cantiknya seorang wanita?

Mungkin pada sepasang matanya yang hening yang selalu menjeling tajam atau yang kadang kala malu-malu memberikan kerlingan manja.

Boleh jadi pada bibirnya yang tak jemu-jemu menyerlahkan senyuman manis, atau yang sekali-sekala memberikan kucupan mesra di dahi umi juga, ayah, suami dan pipi munggil anak-anak.

Atau mungkin juga pada hilai tawanya yang gemersik dan suara manjanya yang boleh melembut sekaligus melembutkan perasaan.

Sejuta perkataan belum cukup untuk menceritakan kecantikan perempuan. Sejuta malah berjuta-juta kali ganda perkataan pun masih belum cukup untuk mendefinisikan tentang keindahan perempuan.

Kitalah perempuan itu. Panjatkan kesyukuran kehadrat Tuhan kerana menjadikan kita perempuan dan memberikan keindahan-keindahan itu.

Namun, betapa pun dijaga, dipelihara, dibelai dan ditatap di hadapan cermin saban waktu, tiba masanya segalanya akan pergi jua. Wajah akan suram, mata akan kelam.

Satu sahaja yang tidak akan dimamah usia, sifat keperempuanan yang dipupuk dengan iman dan ibadah.

iman dan ibadah....

Coz u cant seem to make me happy.
I think im better off alone.

The flu sequence:

firstly the throat hurts. itches like it needs some scratching. no coughing.
and then... suddenly u'll start to sneeze n ur nose flows like a pipe. Soon u'll get a blocked nose n u will sleep with mouth open. ugly sight i know.
Then u'll start to have phlegm and cough.

get well soon to me!

I think im gonna hate u dear brother. For now.
Coz all i asked was just a simple favour yet u turned it down hard on me.
I nvr know u cud grow up being so rude to me.
sometimes I think u are just ungrateful. sometimes I think u just forget how many times u came to me asking for help since u were a little boy.
Uve hurt so much when all I asked was a lil favour for my assignment.
U were just playing games my dear, u were not even revising for ur A levels.
U have no idea how much uve made me cry.
Soon, u'll know how it feels when ure in my position when u'll be in uni too.

period.


I was given 6 weeks to work on the assignment. But i chose to do it just 2 days before the dateline. I was unlucky coz 2 days b4 dateline, I fell sick. Its a torturous combo! its like I had to force every healthy cells that left in me to work!

morale of the story: stop procrastinating!


Im moving in to Pioneer next week. God, im trying my best. please make a better student afterwards. I still have not started my real fyp project since sch starts.
Quizzes are coming in and i still have pending online lectures to view.
now how do I relax during recess when I have all these in mind?
All the best to me. Thank You.

I dunno who to turn to to rant out again.
Im helpless.